Wednesday, April 8, 2009

A Disco Ball, a room full of gay men, and a lot of pain...

I've been to a lot of aerobics classes in my day. Step, lift, pilates, yoga, kickboxing, you name it. But I have never, I repeat, NEVER been to a class like the one I went to last night.

I went to a new gym in a city I'm not familiar with and walked into a 50/50 class. You know, half cardio and half weights. I've been to these sorts of classes before and they're usually about the same. But I knew this class would be different when I walked in and saw a room full of perfectly groomed men wearing tight shorts and sweat headbands.

I asked one of them what kind of weights I needed to grab for the class and he said "well, usually most people use 5 pound weights." 5 freaking pounds? Seriously? I usually grab 12's and 15's for my class! I grabbed some 5's and some 8's and took my place. The class filled up and the teacher, who by the way about about 4 feet tall and 85 pounds, came in and turned on the loudest house music I've ever heard and flipped on, get ready for it, a disco ball with flashing lights.

She started what she called "the warmup" but it was more like frantic jumping and throwing our arms around and it just didn't stop! The whole class was moving at 90 miles an hour and there was thrusting... lots of thrusting!

And sure, 5 pounds weights are nothing, unless you're throwing them around at 50 reps per second for an hour and a half straight! My body was screaming in pain as we hitch-kicked and went up and down and up and down and back and forth and back and forth. I kept swearing under my breath every time that horrible little woman looked at me and said "Keep MOVING! I can SEE YOU!"

About half way through the class, I just stopped for a minute, looked around at all the men who were prettier than I am sweating like they were in a sauna and they thrusted to and fro under the flashing lights and just started laughing out loud. One of them glared at me and I started up again. And what's weird, that was ONE HELL OF A WORKOUT! Seriously, I don't think I've ever been to a harder class..... but at this point I'm not sure if I'll go back. It was a little too out there for me. Although, I did dig the disco ball.


Steph said...

What an unforgettable experience! Wish I could have been a fly on the wall (as I know I would not have survived the class). Love you Jen! We MISS YOU!

discount designer jeans said...

that's one of the funniest blog titles i've seen in quite a while. and seriously, what is up with gay men being so much prettier than us gals? do they try to do that?

Kera said...

are you kidding me? and the pic of that guy. omg. love it. love you.