Thursday, March 20, 2008

Worst Run Ever...

First, (despite the title of my post) I would like to point out that I have had several great runs lately. I haven't been writing and I apologize.

To sum up, I had an extremely hard time on our 16 miler which was 2 Saturdays ago, and I about had it. I was sick of slacking and sick of my body giving out on the long runs. So I promised myself that I would do all of my training during the week. (Especially now that it is getting warmer.)

I could tell that it was making a difference by the end of the week and even more so when it came to our 18 miler. I felt great for a really long time. I would even say I experienced "runners high". I was so overcome that I was even waving to perfect strangers including construction workers. Soon after however, my left knee started hurting so much that I could hardly walk. I kept trudging along, and soon was left behind. Luckily, Kimmie waited up for me, because without her I would have surely gotten lost. Long story short, the run ended in tears and me buying a foam roller...but at least I finished.

That takes us to this week. Jen Kimmie and I had a fabulous retreat in St. George!!! It was so much warmer and it was so fun to get away from the husband and baby and relax with great friends. We had a fun time celebrating Jen's birthday and had an amazingly invigorating run on Monday.

Then Tuesday was my off day...Then Wednesday, I ran 24 laps around a highschool track at night which was boring as hell, but I finished.

Now here comes the stuff of legend...
So Thursday I only have 4 miles, and I think this is going to be nothing. I decide to bring Owen since it was still light out. McSean (my husband) told me that if I put him in the football field that is in the center of the track (which was fenced and locked) that he could have fun running around while I watched him. I obviously thought it was a good idea since the next thing I knew I was lowering him down onto the field.

I plugged my headphones in and started jogging. I immediately realized I needed to pee. That can I say, is the worst feeling in the world. Especially when you know that you could have easily adverted it by just going when you had the chance. So I made it one lap around with my headphones on. It was so seemed like Owen was trying to chase after me and I was waving- completely oblivious that he was screaming bloody murder. Luckily I finally saw up close that he was having a nervous breakdown and raced over to the fence. He was running towards me with his arms up desperate to get him out of there. What a freaking great mom I am.

So I grabbed him. Thank God I didn't have to jump in after him... So I figured I would race to the bathroom in the school and then grab my jogging stroller and then finish. I even relaxed my bladder a little, knowing that I would be able to relieve myself soon. All of a sudden, I looked up and saw a janitor coming out of the door and locking it behind him. What's this?!? "Are all the doors locked?" I asked. "Yup- it's closed for the night." the guy said.

My heart pounded as I tried to figure out a solution. I could run home, but by the time I got there, I knew I wouldn't go back out. So crazily enough, I decided to pee in my car in an old Propel bottle. Of course it didn't all go in the bottle- thankfully I had a blanket under me. I also had senior citizen night coming out in full force. Apparently every oldie in the world wanted to walk right past my car so they could get their evening exercise.

So I get up with my Propel bottle and realize that my butt is soaked with pee. That's always fun. I should have given up then, but I decided to keep going. I made it 10 laps around with only 6 more and I had to stop. Owen was braying and kicking like a donkey and I couldn't take it anymore. Plus, I apparently didn't get all the pee out and I couldn't stop thinking about going again. Plus, my jogging stroller is HANDS DOWN the freaking heaviest thing in the world.

So I gave up. I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. All the grannies were staring at me because I was yelling at my kid. One of them almost got a punch in the hip.

The final chapter is me realizing that Owen left his ball in the field with no way for me to get it except for jumping the fence. Needless to say, I haven't done that in awhile. Not only did I almost die, but I ripped a hole in both my very expensive pants and shirt.

Holy crap. I hate kids right now. Why do they have to make everything so freaking complicated?!?! If anyone has some horror stories to make me feel better, I would sure love to hear them.

Looking forward to our 8 miler this Saturday.



Mel said...

LOL. Using a Propel bottle to pee in is total and complete dedication... hats off to you:)

Jen said...

I am laughing hysterically at my desk right now-- KERA! Pee behind a freaking fence or something! You just made my night. Can't wait till Saturday:) xoxo

BarzeeFam said...

You don't know me, I'm Jen's friend. I have to say that made my DAY! Ok, I didn't mean your misery is my pleasure. I am just grateful that I am not the only one wanting to wring my little kids necks on ocassion. Peeing in a bottle? Men have no idea how easy they have it.

Anonymous said...

I can't say I've peed in a water bottle, but I completely relate to your frustrations of mixing kids and marathon trainning! All I can say is that one day they are old enough to ride a bike with you while you are running and it's fun!!