Monday, January 28, 2008

I am not a naked person...

Don't get me wrong, I am okay with nakedness in two situations: babies, and the other, well I'm married, so I'll let you jump to conclusions. I am not, however, someone who is okay with public nakedness. Even as a professional dancer, I did not embrace the idea of nudity. The other girls on my team would walk around the dressing room, in their birthday suits, showering together, like it was no big deal. Me and one other dancer would not. We did not embrace the nakedness. We like our bodies clothed. It's not that I am self conscience, I am comfortable with my body, and always have been. I had to wear hot pants in front of 20,000 people. But there's the key-- I was "wearing" those hot pants.


Where am I going with all this naked talk? The gym. That's where I'm going. A lot lately, in fact, as part of my training. And to my chagrin, every time I go into the dressing room, without fail, there is a woman, usually older, walking around in the buff, as if they were simply walking to the mailbox, or through the grocery store checkout. And speaking of checking out, I have this uncomfortable feeling of eye-avoidence, because I feel if I even look as said naked woman, who very well could be my mother, they will think I am doing just that-- checking them out.


The other night takes the "birthday suit" cake, if you will. I was taking off my running shoes and packing up my stuff to leave when a woman, without clothes, said "Those pants are darling! Where did you get them?" "Uh, Sports Authority," I replied. She then preceeded to go off about she had been looking for a pair just like them, but could never find any she liked, yada, yada, yada, all while her "girls" were staring directly at me, and the cha-cha-chatch was fully exposed. Then she introduced herself, and shook, yes, shook my hand. You can guess what started to jiggle.

Why do people think this is okay? I am not your sister/mother/daughter/friend. I do not know you, nor do I share your apparent comfort with cold drafts and goosebumps. Although I definetly got to know her very well, if ya know what I mean, in a matter of minutes. Let's all make the world a better place and use a towel. Wrap, wrap, that's all it takes. The gym even provides them for you. Please and thank you.

8 comments:

Erin said...

Oh thankyou for making my night...I so love your story. I almost wet my pants...true story. What is it with women who can shake hands with a perfect stranger, while in the buff, while her ta ta's are banging against eachother? So weird!

Ang said...

Oh my word!!!! I am laughing so hard right now, but at the same time I am feeling for you! That had to be so awkward/horrible/traumatic!!!

foxontherun said...

Great story thanks for making my day. So funny!

Melissa aka Tara's sis said...

Jen you are hilarious!

Kristi & Phil said...

How funny! I'm not comfortable w/ walking aroud in a lockeroom naked either, but lots of women do...especially older women. A handshake...really, was that necessary?

M&M said...

I LOVE this story and I totally relate to it. At the YMCA it is the same way. I definitely avoid all eye contact. :-) The worst is when they are naked and start making conversation with your children. Yuck!

Thanks for the laugh!

Team Hanni said...

WOW!!! I love your post. I am completely disgusted. Thanks for making me laugh tonight.

sarah k. said...

So funny. That's why I just stay away from the gym all together.